Hi my lovely readers, do U miss me?? lol. It's such a long time since my last post. I'm sorry. Many things happened in last few months and now everything is slowly settling down and I'm slowly back on my track. U know, I've moved to a new place because I got a better job. It is approximately 2 months now I'm working and living here. I still miss home so much. It is hard to mingle and blend in but I'm doing my very best. At least, I didn't cry everyday lol! Well, even it is difficult, I can't cry, it is just not me, I wish I could cry more so I get to release all these harbored emotions. Well, once not a crybaby forever not. Oh, it is not a new idiom, it is just my silly english, lol!
I miss home badly. I am very independent yet very dependent. What a complicated girl huh! U know, U wish for something, then after your wish comes true, soon u'll realize that it is not like what U have imagined things would be. Well, not everything is nice. It is nice when your wish comes true, but along with a granted wish, is difficulties. They are meant to be pairs. U know, life is hard and it will always be hard as long as U are breathing. Scary right?! But, we have choices on how we want to live our life. Whether we want to complain or find solution, to cry or to smile, to run away or to fight, to give up or to stand up. We choose. And the choice will makes life whether easier or harder. They smirk, badmouth, hate or knock U down, what U do? I forgive and walk away. Every time. U can call me a loser, but I call it peace. U know, the dirty fight like that is not worth it. Lets fight for significant things. Fight for poverty and fight for innocent lives, fight for something big bro!
Oh, I just got carried away lol. I always think that I want to live a simple life. But. what is the meaning of simple life? I am quite anti-social person, I am not so friendly, I don't get along with people easily. Up to the point, I isolate myself. That way, I thought life would be simpler, but I got it wrong. Now, I can't change my bad personality, it is just me. I learnt that people don't complicated my life, I do. Inner peace doesn't come when u are alone, it comes when u are at the right state of mind. I need friends but I deny. Deep in my heart, I feel so scare of people. They can be two-faces, they can stab back, they can badmouth u until everyone think badly about U. But, when I think and think, it is me who is the evil one to think bad about people. It is me who feel insecure because of no sincerity. The devil inside me is roaring...Pray for me!
May U be blessed LOTS LOTS LOTS OF LOVES xoxo! :)
